Archive for May 22nd, 2009

Dear Margo: You just got trolled.

I call shenanigans on this letter based on several inconsistencies:

-First, there is inconsistent syntax. The letter was written like a Evangelical Protestant would have done: “We raised her with strong Christian beliefs”, “I’ve prayed over her at night while she sleeps, enlisted friends in a phone prayer tree”, “God-fearing”. What threw that off was when the letter-writer mentions that she has contacted her priest. Evangelicals do not refer to their clergy as “priests”…they call them “pastors” or “preachers”, depending on their denomination. Anglicans do have priests, but the syntax just does not fit.

-Second, Catholics do not conduct exorcisms regularly. Note this sentence: “…spoken to my priest about the possibility of an exorcism.” What did the priest said? I cannot ask the parish priest down the street and have him and his colleagues come by the house in a few days. In order to have one, you must ask the diocese bishop for permission. Same thing applies with Anglican priests. Any of the priests will rule out any psychological factors before they determine that it’s supernatural. They would advise the psychologically afflicted to go seek professional help and give them a blessing. And good luck telling him that you want an exorcism for your non-believing daughter. You might as well ask them to exorcise Dr Stephen Hawking for his unbelief. Also…Protestants who performed such services do not call them “exorcisms”…they call them “deliverance sessions”.

-Third, most clergy agree that it’s a matter of free will to reject Christ. They might chat with the daughter about where’s she’s at spiritually, but ultimately, it’s up to the questioning person to figure things out. By the way…if you are parents of a college student, why not visit the campus churches and see what they can offer for your student?

-Calling the FBI seems over the top. Atheism is not a thoughtcrime and is protected under the 1st Amendment. The days of J. Edgar Hoover are long past, and I’m sure that there are dedicated FBI agents who are questioning or non-believing. The only way they would respond is if she does actual crimes like movie piracy, trafficking or terrorism.

-Finally, why would this conservative Christian write to a secular agony aunt? The sort of person writes or calls Focus on the Family, EWTN (if Catholic), or even the 700 Club for advice before she considers asking someone outside the faith. Ergo… this letter is a troll.

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