God is a Kentuckian…and He is merciful to Hoosiers as well.

Photo Description: William Faulkner’s face with a quote from his book The Sound and the Fury: “Ever since then I have believed that God is not only a gentleman and a sport; he is a Kentuckian too.” MYSTIC ALERT!!! Quite unorthodox, no? But if you ever visited my Commonwealth, you will see people in pursuit…

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Goodbye Wittenberg.

Simply put, I am walking away from the church body that harmed me psychologically. After 20 years of dedication, after years of being pressured to remain, I no longer am a member of a Missouri Synod Lutheran church. My spiritual director does not fully understand why I am leaving, so I will take the time…

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A letter to a Fellow Aspie regarding Driving

Hello! Your relative knew me from the Kentucky Derby Museum, and she wanted me to write you a letter about my experiences driving and why I gave up driving. As an Aspie living independently, I believe I am qualified to share my story and give you some advice. I am glad that you are branching…

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My God-given worth

Intristic Worth does prolong lives, especially mine. There is this article that talked about the short life expectancy of Autistic people, written by Sarah Kurchak who just turned 36. 36 is the average life expectancy of Autistic people, according to a study published by the American Journal of Public Health. I am 39. What makes…

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The Value of Routines

There is a Sports Illustrated article about Autistic people enjoying sports and how sports benefited them. One of the featured people is a hockey player. He mentioned the time when his teammates would go out on New Year’s Eve, but opted to stick to his routine and go to bed as usual. That reminded me…

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Breeders’ Spoon

It was a hectic few weeks with the moving and work and the Breeders’ Cup. I am quite subdued and my mood is a bit bummed. Visited Churchill Downs racetrack yesterday for the racing club and left early after Rare Form’s race. Went directly home and slept after that. I tend to get very tired…

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Of Acceptance and Kisses from Silver Charm

(This post is for Autistics Speaking Day 2017. Content warning: Ableism by religious authorities, suicidal ideation, self-harm. In memory of Irap, 2017 winner of the Toyota Blue Grass Stakes.) “Now with the help of God I shall become myself.” -Søren Kierkegaard Since my end of my wilderness years, I felt that I have been reconciled…

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On my two feet: Giving up driving for inner serenity

My mind energy is leeching and the past week my ability to cope with stress is greatly impaired. In short, I spent many spoons and splines coping with a car accident in Lexington. My best friend mentioned she felt uneasy when I am behind the wheel. I do not want to deal with high insurance…

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Lost in Whole Foods

As an Autistic, grocery stores suck. So many choices, you wonder what to get and make when you get home. Now imagine being a widow in a supermarket, shopping for one. Before Preggie was unwell, I would shop at the Meijer or Kroger’s and grabbed low carbby stuff. Fatty bacon and heavy cream and cheese…

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A Lot of Loving to Do

“Mona had a lot of remembering to do, a lot of living and learning and loving to do, before she left once more for Caprichos. Before she returned to their dream.”— Ellen Raskin.

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Meeting the Black Rabbit

The Watership Down cartoon has been known to disturb children. But it is also the type of cartoon when watched, teaches important concepts that all humans must learn. After Hazel brought his warren to a safe place, after so many dangers, he grew old. He fulfilled his purpose. And that is when the Black Rabbit…

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Better Mourning Through Chemistry

It is a rough period of time I am in. Paperwork, and in a few hours, I will be in Wisconsin to bury Preggie. I am glad to have a supply of crazy meds that work to carry me through these days. I wished I had these medicines earlier in my wilderness years. But that…

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+The Reverend Wayne E Rutz, 1941-2017+

15 years later after we met at Symposia, you went Home. It was a long goodbye, ever since our GP detected vascular dementia three years ago, and you denied it. Vehemently. I was helpless as you disintegrated into a weak shell. I was prepared for this. But it’s cold comfort. You have given me so…

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Crazy Meds. You do need them if you live in Kentucky.

After I quit my job at Winner’s Circle, I received a packet of COBRA information so I could be covered between jobs. I called the provider and they wanted $675 per month. Damn. So I got short term insurance. It’s okay…if you do NOT have bipolar disorder. I ran out of Rexulti, a damn fine…

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A letter to my friend whose child is newly diagnosed

I have so much to say, do not know where to start. I think the first thing to say is that now you know that your child’s brain is differently wired, you can help him manoeuver through living. He is still himself, it’s just you now have a clue how to work with him. Visit…

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