The Christmas spirit is strong throughout the 15+ stores I visit in Indiana and Ohio. Everyday, I get to listen to holiday songs. Right now, I do not mind the piped-in music as I tolerate that better than the usual soft-rock/easy listening crap I hear the other 10.5 months of the year. The gifts for sale are proudly displayed on the shelves, waiting for some guy seeking something practical.

Me? I seek also the impractical and the impossible. I have already purchased work clothes that conforms to the dress code I must follow. I’ve braved the Black Friday queue at Best Buy so I can replace my aging netbook. And the Prediger is going to buy me the Urban Decay 15th Anniversary eyeshadow set. But those impossible dreams remain. And they involve people I won’t be able to see again.

I want to let them know that I am doing okay with my life. I enjoy my job, I’ve figured out how to manage my manifestions of Asperger’s Syndrome, and most of all, I found the love of my life.

An example: The presidential races and church/state issues reminded me of my history professor, a Confessional and a pro-life Democrat. He was happy that I do not subscribe to the Evangelical/Calvinist Religious Right, but was chagrined when I became Libertarian. If he was alive today, I want to ask about his stance on same-sex marriage. How would he, a devout virtuous guy, come to his conclusions? I do know that he would want me to review past Supreme Court cases and urge me to consult the Bill of Rights. He would also advise me to read Scripture.

Another person: My sixth grade teacher, a devout Catholic. She would be thrilled to see me again doing decently. That would bolster my faith greatly! I doubt my elementary school (now a charter school) still has the means to contact her.

I do believe in the Creeds, about the communion of the saints and all that. They might have some clue about how I am faring and probably are praying for me. But I really want to see them in the flesh and be sure that they got the message. I know, impossible. And no amount of tangible gifts can change that.

Now, for the rest:

With the help of with my employment specialist from the regional Easter Seals, I’m working for one of the largest merchandising firms in North America. She’d call me once a month to check up on my work and this week she will see me work in nearby Auburn. Do you know how liberating for me to be honest with myself, not worrying about “pretending to be normal?” My bosses are aware…they simply care that I do my job right, which I’ve been doing since I was hired. I’m looking forward to telling her that I’ve been receiving bonuses for 95%+ completion, plus a bonus for pulling off one memorable sale involving using Google Translate on my Droid.

From the “You Nostalgia, You Lose” department: I came across an Avon catalog and they have scratch n sniff pages. I found one for Odyssey perfume and it was exactly like I remembered. I looked at the products and wondered whether it would be better to try out their products. The impetus was when I looked at MAC’s Big Bounce Eyeshadows and tested one at the counter. After two hours, it creased on me. I thought it was sub-par for the price listed. I thought: maybe I should try products from a company that has been there for years and do not have to pay for the overhead. So I signed up and I’m now the Avon Lady. If you live in the Fort Wayne/New Haven area, I’m more than happy to help you look good!

1) I’m now a merchandiser. It does not pay much, but the schedule’s flexible enough to attend to my Prediger’s needs. If I ever meet the guy behind Volition.com, I owe him a beer.

2) When not merchandising, I help out at the IT committee at Science Central. I’m learning a lot about systems administration. Got more to observe IRT virtualization.

3) I had to give up Atkins. It was a great diet. But my gallbladder was angry. The surgeon will remove it via an outpatient procedure. But after that, I just cannot return back to Atkins. In the meantime, I have to eat differently. So I’m on Weight Watchers. They have a new points plan, and new algorithm to calculate the allotted points. They even gave me a special calculator. At least I can eat all the fruits (avocados excepted) and most veggies until I’m satisfied.

4) I had an idea that I need to toss out to my pastor (or any other Fort Wayne-area LCMS pastor). I am openly autistic, of the Asperger variety. As a kid, I’ve had difficulties in the Catholic Church, mainly from the attitudes of the parish. There is a big opportunity to address the spiritual needs of those of us on the Spectrum. I would like to see, at the bare minimum, an autistic-friendly church service. If we need to self-stim, we can do that without the glares of the neurotypical folk who do not know the modus operandi of stimming. Sensory matters will be kept to a minimum. The service will be liturgical. (Maybe a social story handout would go along with it.) Over time, catechesis will be available as well as pastors’ workshops helping them out with their own congregation. If his workload is too much, maybe someone else can assist me.

Census work? I’m done, unless the LCO informs me otherwise. Did not want to get in deep doo-doo and have the Bureau give me the banhammer. I did have a great time, with occasional hiccups IRT some one-celled beings. Best person I’ve met was actually an older lady at this trailer park. Will have to bring her some farm fresh veggies, as she grows green peppers.

Just think… I’ve been through three phases (GQE, NRFU, and NRFU-VDC). It helped pay for my car repairs, bills, and best of all, my trip to OSCON. I learned about the resources available for people in need in Fort Wayne. I saw the increase of foreclosures as I walked around New Haven. I’ve listened to the stories of a few neighbors whose children were grown-up and wished they can pay a visit. I saw, for better or for worse, the anti-government sentiment. I have to tell them that we’ve been doing this since 1790, with far worse intrusive questions than today.

Been reading two strictly unofficial blogs, My Two Census and LooseFemme, who has finished her NRFU gig and is now an union organiser in Oakland.

I was giddy when Matt Harrison got the nod for Synodical President. I hooked up my lappy to the telly so Preggie can watch the convention. He was excited that he can enjoy it without travelling to Houston. If we were to attend the convention, we’d be sitting in the back of the hall, watching it from a screen because GK and MH would be specks from our vantage point.

Here I am, back into the jobless limbo. I have a few new O’Reilly books from OSCON. It means between now and “you’re hired” I will have to earn a few bux doing odd jobs. I am thinking of getting a 30 watt soldering iron and practice using it. On the bright side, I succeeded in fixing my Ubuntu part of the laptop. The battery level would warn me that I have FOUR MINUTES until hibernation, despite having a full charge. Glad the updates are there.

Part of my absence is job-hunting, looking for gigs and full-time work. Still searching, though I’ve got temp work at the end of March.

Another reason is more medical. No, it’s not cancer nor some serious stuff like heart disease or something exotic that the Mayo Clinic would analyze. Prior to February, I dread a certain time every month. (ACHTUNG: Womanly matters are mentioned.) The first few days, I cramped hard that I find myself confined to bed. After my time at Ivy Tech, I realized that these times will affect my job search and my career if I do not treat it. I asked my doctor about some options I have, and figured that some procedures will help me. After thoughtful consideration and theological consultation from my Prediger, I decided to undergo the Novasure ablation plus a tubal ligation. Actually, it was not a problem regarding the Novasure; it’s the finality of the ligation that I was concerned. Since pregnancy after the ablation is very dangerous to the woman, plus the complication will mean a definite peril to the child’s life, I said to myself: The Principle of Double Effect can be invoked. I prayed, I thought, and ultimately, I placed things in God’s hands.

I figured that this would be a short procedure, in the hospital by morning, out in the afternoon. It turned out to be a more serious matter. Bluntly, the doctor found two benign dermoid cysts, one in each ovary. One was so big that they removed my left ovary. The average size of an adult ovary is about the size of those green olives– 3cm by 1.5cm by 1.5cm. The left ovary was about 9cm by 8cm by 6cm, like a clenched fist. The right was saved, though they removed a sizable cyst. The doctor told the Prediger and my pastor that I would be in great pain later down the road if I have not been treated.

After recovery, my parents and my pastor visited me and I felt better than expected. The month came and went, without pain. It was the first time ever that I do not have such pain. I’m really looking forward to busy activities and job hunts without getting held back.

As for my sterility: I’ve made peace about it and knew that God has something in store, a role in life just for me. No kids of my own, but it is filled with days of devotion to my husband…lots of doggie kisses from “Teh Sarah”…tinkering around with Linux…and spending more time with the Church. Best of all, I’ll be the aunt who will spoil the niecelings and nephlings silly– and at the end of the day, return them to their parents. :)

So now, that’s my absence in under 500 words. Now it’s time to resume my antics.

Now…to the main course. Learned about how to pull off the smok(e)y eye, and realized that I needed make-up remover, especially after using the Urban Decay eyeshadow primer. That stuff stays on good! After dinner, Wayne wanted me to procure some butter pecan ice cream. And I did, at WalMart. I was looking for makeup wipes when I found the Hard Candy section, replacing the Max Factor line. I did heard from Nouveau Cheap that WalMart will carry the brand, but I figured that it might only be available in select big cities like Los Angeles or New York.

A bit of nostalgia: I remember going to Bloomingdale’s in Sherman Oaks and seeing the colorful nail polish, each with a plastic ring. I prefer MAC or Urban Decay, so I passed on by. And now, it’s there where I don’t have to order stuff from out of town. Yes, the plastic rings are still on the nail polish. So, I bought two things: a lipstick and a liquid eyeliner. I’m wondering whether this stuff will hold up as good as the products at Bloomie’s.

The lipstick is a sheer matte dark purple called “Night Out” and the eyeliner is in Sugar Plum. Here are the makeup, against my skin and on my lips:

Lipstick is creamy and goes well, and I think the liner is decent but will require a second application to make a even line. Will try them on this week and write a review.

Got Ubuntu installed with wireless and sound cards working, thanks to an Ubuntu forum. Yay!

Ohio LinuxFest is coming along, and been writing an article on why it’s important for students to attend this conference. It will be published shortly on the OLF website. Also, you can follow us at Twitter: @ohiolinux.

1) V for Vendetta (Guy Fawkes lives!)
2) 1776 (A musical on the Declaration of Independence)
3) Fight Club
4) South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
5) Persepolis (Tatsuma recommended this very much)
6) Arabian Nights
7) Lawrence of Arabia
8 ) Revolution
9) Red Badge of Courage
10) Glory
11) The Patriot
12) Braveheart
13) Henry V
14) Puccini’s Tosca
15) The Longest Day
16) Sands of Iwo Jima (just turn it off after the flag is raised)
17) The ORIGINAL Star Wars Trilogy (ANH, ESB, ROTJ)
18) Brazil
19) Battlestar Galactica (the series and TV movies)
20) Enemy at the Gate
21) Pump Up the Volume